Manage Big Emotions with the Brain Stoplight Check-In

Knowing how to manage big emotions is a vital life skill for children. The goal isn’t to suppress all feelings but to acknowledge them, understand their source, and develop effective coping strategies. While mastering these skills takes time, the journey can be enriched by supportive relationships that foster resilience.

The first step in managing big emotions is recognizing how you’re feeling. Recognizing that you’re feeling overwhelmed is the initial step toward addressing those intense emotions. A helpful tool for children is the Brain Stoplight check-in, a quick and easy way to identify their emotional state.

Brain Stoplight

Review the Brain Stoplight Poster. This poster can be displayed to remind students to help them quickly and clearly communicate how they are feeling. Imagine a stoplight…

• • GREEN means “My brain is good to go; I can listen, participate, and learn.”
    Hand sign: Gentle fist with fingers over the thumb.

• • YELLOW means “Caution/slow down; I am unsure how I feel; I may need help.”
    Hand sign: The thumb is tucked with fingers horizontal and flat over the thumb.

• • RED means “I feel dysregulated (sad, angry, frustrated, out of sorts, or something else). I need help.”
    Hand sign: Fingers are vertical and extended, and the hand is open.

The Brain Stoplight has the following benefits:

• • It increases self-awareness of internal states.

• • It allows students to express feelings.

• • It gives them control in voicing their needs.

• • It removes the shame of dysregulation.

Even if a child is still learning to articulate their feelings, they can use the Brain Stoplight to communicate their emotional state. This is a powerful tool for developing emotional intelligence.

The Brain Stoplight can be used effectively with a class, small group, or in one-on-one interactions. Here are some tips for handling “yellow” and “red” responses when working with a group of students.

Yellow Stoplight

If a student expresses that they are “yellow,” it is appropriate to briefly share with the entire group that it is ok to not always feel “green.”

We create a safe space to feel whatever we feel. You don’t need to fix the “yellow” feeling; just acknowledge it. Implement a co-regulation strategy such as your warm presence to soothe the student(s) and let them know you “see” them. Validate their feelings and continue with the lesson.

Red Stoplight

If a student says “red,” assess safety issues and check to see if the student can and would like to stay with the group (receiving your co-regulating presence through the lesson) or needs something more. Check to see if you can support and discuss the issue after the group so the student can stay in the group. If the student needs one-on-one support, refer them to someone in the building who can give that focused attention while the group continues, assuring safety for the student feeling “red.”

This will model what we do when someone is in “red” for all students. During scheduled group time, ensure there is always a backup person to help a student who feels “red” and cannot stay in the group. Be sure to follow up with the student feeling “red” after the group.

 

Kids and adults alike need to learn to recognize and manage big emotions. Tools like the Brain Stoplight can help students communicate how they are feeling and ask for help (co-regulation). Developing the ability to manage big emotions is a lifelong skill that will benefit them greatly.